#108. It’s Happening! Some Big Announcements (and the Weirdest Fight Scene You’ve Ever Read)

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​The list of categories for the second round of brainstorms (chosen with a roll of the dice) is: 1) a book or magazine 2) a job or role, taken on reluctantly, 3) a pub or café, 4) a portal or means of travel, 5) a piece of treasure or magical, sought-after object, 6) a monster or creature, 7) an invention, 8) a weapon, 9) a hidden identity or disguise, 10) a scar (physical or psychological), 11) a ghost, or 12) or a cocktail or special tea (which, let’s face it, is likely to be a magic potion or poison).

Hello imaginative people. I’m Anna Tizard and this is episode 108 of Brainstoryum.
 
As the title of today’s show says, it is happening. As promised, before we get down to some new weird and wild games of the imagination, I have some new reveals about my upcoming novel, including the full title (which I have not disclosed before), the release date (which is different to what I originally planned), and… perhaps most importantly, the names of the lovely people whose words (through the magic of the Socks of Destiny), made up the 12 Exquisite Corpses that inspired the book. I keep a meticulous record of all the Exquisite Corpses that come up on the show and the names of everyone who contributed each word, if they want their names recorded, and if not, I acknowledge that contribution as “anonymous”.
 
First things first: the full title. “Weird Creatures” has always been the working title because that’s the theme of the stories I’ve been writing and bringing together, ever since I began focussing on that theme last spring.
 
But, as I’ve mentioned, the book has become a “novel-in-stories” or a composite novel, meaning that it’s a collection of short stories that also forms one overarching story, narrated by a tea witch named Eswilda. So it’s kind of become more centred on her. The full title I’ve been thinking about and would ultimately love to use is: Weird Creatures: Story-Travelling with a Tea Witch. At time of recording this is still a little bit “TBC” because there’s been a slight delay with my cover designer and I’m still not sure if she can fit all of this on the front cover, into my spiral design that I use for the series. Anyway. We’ll see. But this new part of the title, Story-Travelling with a Tea Witch, is what I came up with because that is what Eswilda does through her teas. Not only does her vast array of jam jars contain teas that invoke emotions, but she can brew up a story and take you into it. She can even take characters out of stories, and has her own reasons for doing so.
 
It may be simplest if I just read my book blurb right now:
 
Cosy tea. Dangerous tales. A very final inheritance.
 
In her seaside tea shop, Eswilda is a sweet old lady—with monstrous tendencies. Come inside, and she’ll make you a cuppa. Just be warned: her tea collection includes assam and betrayal, lapsang souchong and death.
 
When she stirs the teapot, stories awake.
 
But Eswilda’s story-travelling adventures are coming to an end.
 
Can she find someone worthy to inherit her powers, before it’s too late? And will the secrets of her black notebook arm her successor against the monster that awaits?
 
A story of stories, steeped in whimsy, darkness, and surprises.
 
So from the original short story collection I was planning, not all the stories have made the cut, there’s been some whittling down, because they needed to fit into Eswilda’s own overarching story, and she needed to have personal reasons for wanting to tell each one.
 
In total, 12 Exquisite Corpses inspired the 9 stories that make up Weird Creatures, and these Exquisite Corpses were made up of words from 23 people altogether.
 
17 of these people contributed 1 or 2 words. Those with one word are Nicholas Bozzo, Kimberly, Wadebward, Honor Harlow, @Sarahjeanm, Graciela Madrid, Elena Dennison, Spotlight Indie Podcast, Rachel, Abhra from Stories & Stanza Podcast, @Mcconnelleryn, and me (well, I do occasionally suggest words). Robin the Mail Lady, Ebenezer, Frasier Armitage, Edge O. Erin and Anon each sent 2 words that went into the final Exquisite Corpses.
 
But the top 6 contributors whose 4 or more words ended up in in the book’s Exquisite Corpses (and this is where it starts to feel like Top of the Pops—if you are old enough to remember that, and if you got UK telly in the 80s and 90s; I have no idea whether any other countries got this programme. Anyway, here are the top 6 contributors:
 
In joint position at number 5 with 4 words each are Paul Benfield and Wendi.

Next we have Sean (bluewizardfax) whose 5 words made it.

Paul Thomas is third, having contributed 7 words.

Mariah sent 8 words.

And at the top, the number one contributor of words, which may not surprise long-term listeners including Alessandro Bozzo himself is—oops—Alessandro Bozzo with 10 of his words making it into the final Exquisite Corpses.
 
I want to say thank you to everyone for their words: it’s because of you that Weird Creatures: Story-Travelling with a Tea Witch contains a kelpie, a Victorian banshee, several dragons, several half-dragons, an inglenook sprite, a disembodied voice, a ghost, a two-headed vampiric snake, a sea monster, a werewolf, living statues, and another weird one which would be spoiler so I can’t say.
 
All word contributors will be acknowledged in the book with a “thank you”, and I will get in touch with each of you individually, wherever contact details have been provided; also, you will each receive an ebook copy as soon as it’s available, presuming you’d like one, however, I am in fact going about things differently this time round and doing what is often thought to be the “standard” marketing practice for both indie and traditionally published authors. I am offering anyone who would like it, a free advance ebook copy from early-mid July which is when it should be ready (the manuscript is with my editor as we speak). This is several weeks in advance of the release date of 3rd September 2026 which is a little later than I originally planned, to allow time for this advance reader copy (or ARC) process.
 
But if you choose—if you would like—to be an ARC reader, what does this mean? It means that you would be welcomed to leave an honest review on or shortly after the release date of 3rd September. This is not an obligation; in fact, you would need to actually mention that in your review on Amazon, that you received an ARC without any obligation to review. I’ll send some suggested wording for this insertion in your review, if you were kind enough to post one on Amazon on the formal release date. So, if you would like to participate in this way, which would really help me out, it means you’d have about 7 or 8 weeks to read it. It’s not a tome, it is a pretty average length novel at 61k words. Many novels go up to 80 or 90K words, and epic fantasy can often go beyond that.
 
As I mentioned, I will get in touch with each of the word contributors individually in case they would like to receive an ARC, but if you are not among them and you would be interested in reading the ebook for free from early-mid July, then please get in touch with me. Hit the “contact” button on any page footer at annatizard.com, or if you are subscribed to my private email list, just hit “reply” and let me know. The more the merrier I say. What it does, is, if enough people are kind enough to leave a review on the day of publication, on 3rd September or, say, the day afterwards, it helps increase the book’s visibility and discoverability, and shows that people have read the book. This is generally a difficulty these days for all authors—getting noticed among the millions of books that are published. I do not expect 5 star reviews across the board; books are very personal and not every book is for everyone; and I appreciate honesty, because that is what helps me improve as a writer. If you enjoy contemporary fantasy with a touch of weirdness and the unexpected, this may be for you.
 
Right! Now it’s time to share some short stories from my talented listeners who have also been inspired by the weird and wonderful word game of Exquisite Corpse.
**
Indeed! I had some brilliant responses to prompts that came up in the last show.
 
Nick Vracar wrote a micro-piece on word combination from show 107, “The Shallow Crow”:
 
“Tim had a predilection for shiny things; it was natural for a crow. At first he collected shiny stones, but it wasn’t long before he moved on to petty theft. Friends were dull but diamonds sparkled! Greed inspired his petty theft, yet it was envy that drove this crow to murder.”
 
This is so clever, and neatly tied up as well—with the reference to murder like a murder of crows.
 
Thank you, Nick. You can find Nick’s speculative fiction and articles at Nvracar.wordpress.com.
 
Mark West wrote a short story based on The Shallow Crow:
 
"Long ago, Crow was famous for his sagacity.. He sat on old branches pondering serious things such as moonlight, destiny, and whether worms had ambitions..

Animals travelled for miles to hear him speak.

“Crow,” said Badger one day, “what is the meaning of life?”

Crow closed his eyes. “Hmm,” he said gravely. “Life is a river flowing through—”
But before he could finish, a squirrel ran past wearing a tiny waistcoat made of moss.
Crow stopped.

“...where did he get that?”

The waistcoat fascinated him. Soon he noticed other things: foxes had glossy tails, swans had elegant necks, hedgehogs had surprisingly committed little faces.

He began asking important questions. “Does this feather arrangement make me look windswept?”

“Are my claws too severe?”

“Be honest,. Am I giving mysterious, or just tired vibes?"

Exasperated, Badger left.

Crow bought puddles to use as mirrors. He spent entire afternoons turning his head side to side and saying, “Interesting.”

Eventually Badger returned.

“Crow,” he said, “what is the meaning of life?”

Crow stared into a puddle.

Without looking up he said, “Depth is important, obviously... but have you seen my profile from this angle?”

And from that day onward, crows became collectors of shiny things, because once you've started admiring surfaces, it's very difficult to stop."

This is fantastic, like a sort of mini-origin myth. You’ve also—your writing’s got a real sense of rhythm, balancing long sentences against short ones. I appreciate these short sentences which say a lot. (That’s like my editor brain kicking in as I read it, going, ooh, this is good.)
 
Mark West writes absurd gothic romantic horror and you can find him on X as @2112Westy
 
Paul Monteith wrote in and commented, “The headless horseman and the Scottish washerwoman were tempting, but the cheesecake demanded attention.” If you remember episode 107, these were just some utterly bizarre Exquisite Corpses. So Paul wrote:

“The Cacophanous Calligrapher and The Mangled Cheesecake”

“Calligrapher Karl burst through the swing doors in a spandex uniform. "Where's the custard-faced loon!" he roared. The crowd whooped and hooted as he swaggered to the ring. Slipping through the ropes, he took his place at a turnbuckle and faced his opponent. "Mangler. You infernal, coagulated baked pudding," he yelled.

A Cheesecake in a shimmering gold lamé cape flexed against the ropes. "The scribbler speaks yet says nothing," Mangler fired back at Karl.

A bell sounded.

Karl rushed forward, his feet scraping the canvas like a quill scratching paper. Mangler stepped out of its robe, flipped on its side, and rolled to meet the scribe. Deft of foot, the inkman soon had Mangler in a headlock, and he whipped out his piping bag and iced decorative curly-cue slurs onto the custard's surface.

But he couldn't hold the velvety dessert, and the custard, squirming free, leaped into the air. With a sloppy wet gloop, Mangler slammed the inkman to the canvas. "You egg," yelled the penman. "Your tart curds sour ripe grapes."

The sheer force of Mangler's body-slam caused major disassembly. The pudding pit crew entered the ring armed with custard smoothers and patted the battered cheesecake into a cake ring.

"The Mangler mangled," the caligrapher mocked. "You fall apart as easily as cheap furniture."

A referee blew his whistle and raised the victor's quill.

Mangler glooped in the cake ring and, looking at Karl, slurped defiantly: "You shrill newt. I envy the people who haven't met you."

Okay, so this is utterly surreal! Possibly the most bizarre fight scene I have ever read. Pudding versus scribe? The descriptions are so vivid that I just can’t stop my suspension of disbelief kicking, despite a sensible part of my brain saying, no, this cannot be! You really have stretched your imagination—and mine—to take on something quite extraordinary. Thank you, Paul.
 
You can find Paul Monteith on Bluesky as Quantum Fairy and if you’re not on Bluesky, his linktree is linktr.ee/MostlyPaul
 
Right, it is time to take our imaginations for a walk along a path that doesn’t yet exist paved with ideas that are just not conceivable until we reach into the Socks of Destiny.
 
**
SOCKS OF DESTINY ORGAN JINGLE
 
This part of the show is un-transpose-able! There's much giggling and rustling of paper as I pull words at random from the Socks of Destiny to create three unique sentences according to the rules of Exquisite Corpse, going: “Describing word—noun—action—describing word—noun.” Today’s resulting sentences are:
 
1. The bloodthirsty circle ate the broken wallaby.
2. The egotistical fate tip-toed around the burdened chair.
3. The perky feud broke in some new shoes for the sweaty Blodeuwedd (“blaw-day-weth”, woman from Welsh mythology who’s made from flowers. She betrays her husband and gets turned into an owl).
 
**
Right. I think the Exquisite Corpse that intrigues me the most from today’s results is the one about the bloodthirsty circle eating… although not too sure who or what the broken wallaby is, if we are going to try and use the entire Exquisite Corpse. A ritualistic symbol in the shape of a wallaby? Like a statue that’s been broken? Why a wallaby?
 
Google informs me that female wallabies have a unique ability to pause the development of a fertilized egg until their already-born joey leaves the pouch. Feels like control, powerful maternal abilities? A mother earth-type being… Is the wallaby just a clue for us to find this idea or direction for the cult? And if this group has gathered outdoors, it does feel like it would be a nature-based religion or cult. Cult would be more interesting to me to write, because cults generally have negative connotations, and you could probably go weirder and scarier with it. Hm.
 
A broken wallaby? So there is something wrong with this earth-mother symbol or with the central idea of the spirituality they’re focused on.
 
Some possibilities there, but I still feel more drawn to the first part of the Exquisite Corpse, “the bloodthirsty circle”, a circle drawn in the ground, that opens up like a maw. That’s also where the action seems to be taking place, rather than a sort conceptual direction, so I’m going to focus on that.
 
But what am I looking for in a roll of the dice? (The 12 categories are of course in the show notes should you want to have a look at the full list.) Sometimes when I have an idea, a part of me wants to look ahead to what happens next—so, what is in this underworld these people get swallowed into?—and another part of me wants to look back, to the reasons why this is happening, or the origins or background details, like who the characters are and why they’re there, which of course is fundamental to the story and will also tell me where this story is then going to go.
 
Forwards and backwards. I normally just think “what next” when I roll the dice. But I think this time, the situation feels like it’s in the middle of something, that’s why I’m torn.
 
So what I’m going to do is, I’m going to roll the dice twice in quick succession, and then see what these suggest either about the next part of the story, or looking backwards, about the beginning of the story or how the characters got here.
 
(Rolls dice.) 3: a pub or café. If that’s looking forwards, then there is a pub or café in the underworld! Ooh, an underground pub… What creatures are leaning against the bar…? Giant vampire ants? Is the barman a six-foot beetle? But if we’re to take a pub as a clue for looking back to the beginning of the story, then maybe the origins of the group began, however long ago, in a pub get-together.
 
But before I chase these ideas any more, let me roll again: 7. An invention? I can’t think how an invention would tie in with taking the story forwards, unless the group discovers a new kind of weapon in this underworld. But if you’re into writing fight scenes and epic fantasy with warring peoples or species, that could be up your street. Your… underground street.
 
But actually, I’m starting to think about how both an invention and the setting of a pub could both be about the origin of this story. It begins with a pub quiz night, but some people end up staying much later. Someone gets out a pack of cards; maybe they’re tarot cards. Things get more tense, and more interesting, as one person, who’s always been a bit quiet and mysterious, claims they can read other people’s futures, or they can reveal a person’s secrets through the cards. Or maybe they turn it into a weird sort of card game. Maybe a new game emerges as other people join in, and this is the “invention”. Or—they play Exquisite Corpse! And that will invent a new word combination: maybe the word combination is the “bloodthirsty circle”. (It’s getting so meta-fiction!) And the tarot reader challenges the others to join her outside in the woods, and to draw a circle, and see what happens, because the game has told them to.
 
So they’re getting quite meta, within their meta story…
 
They wander outside, and in the cold sting of the night air, suddenly sobering, it feels like a dodgy idea. Who wrote the word “bloodthirsty” anyway? But no-one wants to back out now. That would seem cowardly. Besides, there’s a tingling in the atmosphere: something has passed between them. They feel closer now: even though it began as just a joke, the tarot readings made them feel exposed, private details they’d normally keep to themselves are now shared, and it’s like a bond, a thread drawing them all together. The word game afterwards sealed that bond, and stumbling into the words feels like the beginning of something… inexplicable.
 
So, what next? Maybe that’s up to you, should you decide to pick up your pen and let it lead you stumbling into the woods of your imagination. Let me know if you go there, and if you find out what lies in wait for this newly-founded group in the bloodthirsty circle.
 
**
As always, you can respond to any word combination that’s come up on the show, so you don’t have to go with the bloodthirsty circle. There is also the egotistical fate, because what on earth does that mean—again, a real wild card, I suppose because of the abstract nouns, circle and fate.
 
You know what to do: hit the ‘submit’ button at annatizard.com with a max 250 word story or poem.
 
But that’s not all: once you get writing, it might inspire you to expand and develop what you’ve begun, and for that, I have a couple of publishing opportunities:
 
Dirty Magick Magazine publishes original fiction from 2k to 12.5K words. They pay a single story rate of $50, but do not accept reprints, i.e. stories that have been previously published or shared online. They’re looking for urban fantasy first and foremost, but also sword and sorcery and they will consider gothic and supernatural horror. Submissions are currently closed but they are reopening on 1st July and will only accept 350 submissions before closing again (so I thought it best to tell you about it now).
 
Read their full submission guidelines—because these are quite detailed in describing what they do and don’t like—at dirtymagickmagazine.com
 
Fusion Fragment is a literary magazine—again, closed for submissions at time of recording, but reopening on 1st July, to give you a heads up.
 
They are looking for Scif or scifi-tinged literary fiction stories and novellettes anywhere from 2K up to 15K words. They say, while any science fiction subgenre is fair game, their tastes lean towards slipstream, cyberpunk, post-apocalypse, and anything with a little taste of the bizarre, although humour is not the right fit for them. They don’t accept reprints. They pay 4 Canadian cents a word, up to a max. of $400 CA per story.

For more information, go to Fusionfragment.com
 
As usual, I don’t have any personal experience of these publishers and I’ve only come across the details I’ve shared in the wilds of the internet. Whoever you choose to submit to, always run a check on Google for reviews and comments, and read the terms and conditions of publication to ensure they suit you.
 
Also, a note about reprints: generally, if you’ve shared a flash fiction piece on this show, if you were to submit that piece “as is” to a publication, that would count as a reprint because it’s been shared before—this is the equivalent of publishing. But if your flash fiction story morphs into something longer, as long as it’s changed substantially (which, having started as 250 words then grown to 2K or longer, I think that would count as substantial change!) this would not be seen as a reprint, because it’s just too different. So if you ever develop something that began as a 250-word response that I’ve read out on the show: it may help your submission to mention that an earlier, much shorter draft of this story was read out on Brainstoryum episode (whatever), but do make it crystal clear that it has since developed into this much longer piece, and is not, as such, a reprint.
 
Okay! I hope I have given your imagination plenty to play with. As ever, don’t forget there is a further opportunity for promoting any Brainstoryum-inspired story you have published on Brainstoryum Emporium, my new webpage which currently says, “coming soon”. Well, it could feature your author details and provide a link to, your story when it’s published. So get scribbling, what are you waiting for?
 
Also, please don’t forget to get in touch with me through my “contact” button on annatizard.com if you would like to receive an advance reader copy of Weird Creatures: Story-Travelling with a Tea Witch.
 
Until next time, go forth and be inspired!